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Andrew Carralak

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Post by Andrew Carralak Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:48 am

i've decided to try this as a spur of the moment thing... it's basically a prequel to Vampires Will Never Hurt You on Annie's website. if you do psychology like me, you'll learn that evil is never really a clear cut thing and it may dependant on the situation. i'm not trying to make the Andrew Carralak character involved in that short story or this... whatever it may be... instead i'm trying to put forward the question of why? why would someone do that? some of you may not like what i'm doing but that's your choice. i just do what i do... but anyway... yeah...
oh and i thought the title was fitting but i'm open to suggestions...


Prologue
Death always seems so simple if you’ve never experienced it. Religion seems to say the same basic thing about what happens when you die: if you’re good, you’ll go to paradise, if you’re bad, you’ll suffer fiery damnation.
But what if you’re bad after your death? What if you die, and then return, but find that you want to tear the throat out of every living being around you! Burn the cities to the ground! Make yourself the ruler of all that can be seen, because you are so sure of your immortality and superiority!
I forget myself... I have done questionable things... terrible things... but how will I be judged when I finally meet my maker? Will I even be judged, or will I fade away to nothing?
I’m not condoning any of what I’ve done, or what others like me have done. I just need to show the world for what it is, a cruel, vicious place, that’ll put you in a position where you have a choice: kill or be killed. But what would you do?
But I’m losing track... You probably want me to get to the point... well... it is a long tale... I hope you have time... take a seat... and I shall begin... and the beginning was in fact the end... the end of my life... my death...
Andrew Carralak
Andrew Carralak

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Post by Emily Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:13 am

I laave this, very well written Very Happy
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Post by Andrew Carralak Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:27 am

Emoo pop-jane-Mae wrote:I laave this, very well written Very Happy

thank you Very Happy i'll try and get the first part (i'm saying part, not chapter because i have no idea how long this is gonna be) done over the next day or so
Andrew Carralak
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Post by Andrew Carralak Sat Apr 16, 2011 3:09 am

Part 1
A dark chuckle woke me from a nightmare of black eyes, and bloody fangs.
I opened my eyes, and rose with a start as I realised I’d fallen asleep on the floor of an alleyway. But what had happened? I’d just been out walking and the next thing I remember, I’m having nightmares and I'm waking up and finding myself here!
“I was beginning to get worried. You’ve been out for quite a while now. I thought perhaps I’d gone too far. But no door appeared so I thought it best to wait.” the voice matched the chuckle that had woken me. I looked around for the source and could just make out a figure standing in the shadows.
“Who-“ I coughed, something was wrong. My mouth felt... full... something was wrong with my teeth. The feeling suddenly vanished and I started talking again.
“Who are you?” I asked the dark figure.
“In time, my friend, in time. First things first, I think it would be prudent to find somewhere a little more... sociable. And we can’t have anyone come down here and see the mess we’ve left behind now, can we?”
“Mess?” I asked, before looking around and actually paying attention to the alleyway.
The floor was slick with some sort of red slime. I dipped my fingers into it and brought it up to my nose. There was no mistaking the coppery smell... blood! I fell back against the wall behind me.
“What... what is this?! Who are you?! What’ve you done?!” I stuttered.
“Oh come now. I’m sure you can put two and two together; you’re covered in the stuff. Well, at least the area around your neck is,” the figure replied, a smile evident from the sound of his voice.
“Are you- are you suggesting I did this?” I asked, horrified.
“No of course not, I’m saying that it’s your blood. I’ve never had this problem before... and I thought you looked intelligent and worth our while.”
I looked down at myself. He was right, from the chest upwards; my shirt was stained dark red. I brought my hand up to my face and felt the slickness of the red good there as well.
“My- my blood? What’ve you done to me?!” I cried at the figure, “Who are you?!”“Well at least you understand I’ve done something. The last thing you remember is walking along this alley isn’t it? After that, you dreamt of images, brief flashes of a man with black eyes, perhaps impossible teeth as well. After that you wake up. You try and speak but something’s getting in the way. If you didn’t know what you were trying to say, all you’d here is a hiss. But the feeling passes, and suddenly the shadows pull in even further around you. And you’re left in the dark with nothing but a shadow and a voice for comfort... and a craving for something... but you don’t yet know what, but there is something around you... something setting that craving off... smell the blood again... how does it make you feel? That rich, beautiful smell! The smell of life! The smell of food! It’s wonderful isn’t it! And then you hear it... the sound of a pulse... that delicious thudding sound that means life is nearby! And you want it! You want to feel that thick red wine flow over your teeth, you want to savour it on your tongue, before letting its warmth slide down your throat. You want all of it! You want more! MORE!”
The figure cleared his throat and then continued on with his mad ramblings, which I couldn’t help but listen to and agree with...
“Excuse me. I digress. But you do understand what I’m saying, don’t you? I can see it in your eyes... that flash of black as I mention blood... it’s there, you may not realise it but it’s there...”
The figure stepped into the light. His clothing made him look like an accountant, dark suit, with a blood red tie. He had short, cropped black hair, which stood on top of a face that could have been anyone walking passed in the street.
“As for who I am, my name is Phillip Grenshaw, and I’m the one that has brought you to your new life!”
Andrew Carralak
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Post by Emily Sat Apr 16, 2011 5:32 am

Still loving it! Great detail Very Happy
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Post by Andrew Carralak Sat Apr 16, 2011 6:38 am

just thought i should say, i am actually basing this on Being Human and i'm hoping at some point to bring one or two characters from the series in. as for time frame i'm planning on having it set at different time. i mean the first part (and second part which i'm currently working on) are set around the time of the first series, but i've got plans to have further parts set later on, including, probably around, 20 or 30 years afterwards (i'd like to include a part based on Vampires Will Never Hurt You, but the nature of the supernaturals in that sounds like a more future time frame) and obviously the prologue (and epilogue) are set at the end of Andrew Carralak's life (or death).
i'm just saying in case people perhaps get confused... i'd love to hear people's opinions as well since i plan on making this a pretty long piece if i can Smile
Andrew Carralak
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Post by Andrew Carralak Sat Apr 16, 2011 6:57 am

not sure about this chapter... i like it but i'm not sure if others will... so really, really need opinions... although i don't think it'll be entirely necessary for the rest of the story. i've really done it because one thing that never seems to be addressed in BH is why vampires choose certain humans (which i'm hoping to look at in part 3) and also what happens once a vampire's turned another human into a vampire which i hope i've looked at in part 1 and 2...

Part 2
“The first thing you should know is that many of the myths about vampires are false. There are some truths behind them yes, but nothing of consequence to us.”
Grenshaw had led me from the alley to a small apartment on the outskirts of the town I lived in. He had told me what he had done to me... although I was still struggling to come to terms with it.
Try and imagine it, one day, you’re walking down the street, and suddenly you wake up in an alley and there’s a man telling you, you’re no longer a part of the living, but have become one of the undead...
We were sat at a small table in the kitchen of the apartment. He was sat like a business man with his hand cupped on the surface of the table, as he explained what it was to be a vampire.
“Our need to feed isn’t so much a need as a want. We don’t have to feed, however, there are consequences if we do not. A constant hunger that demands to be sated, and also a certain degree of photosensitivity...” I gave him a confused look, “Sensitivity to light,” he explained, “that’s where the rumours about vampires burning in the sunlight originate from. A few centuries ago, a small group of vampires got it into their heads that it was wrong to feed on humankind. Well, needless to say, they weren’t aware of what happens if we don’t feed... or what happens to those who displease the Old Ones...”
“The Old Ones?” I asked.
“The oldest members of our kind... they have lived for many centuries, even millennia in some cases. If I were you, I would make it your business not to get in their way or disobey them. If you do, they will find you, and the results will not be to our advantage...” Grenshaw answered. He tried to hide his fear of the Old Ones but I saw it in his eyes.
“But they do not concern us at this point,” He continued with his explanation, “One myth which is absolutely true, is that of religious symbols. We don’t know why, but we cannot approach them. It’s like there’s a barrier between us and the symbol. If we should be forcibly placed into the path of a religious symbol, it can be quite painful. There are ways around them however. If a person who carries the symbol cares enough for you, then the symbol will have no power over you. Which is why some of us choose to become ‘friendly’ with our... food.” A sly smile appeared on Grenshaw’s face.
I stood up and walked to the window of the apartment. I looked down on the street beneath me, all the cars looking like toys, and the people walking along the paths, looking no bigger than insects. The sun still shone down on them, the poor souls who had no clue as to what might jump out of the shadows when the sun finally disappeared and paved the way for the night.
“So... if I choose... I could go without feeding? And find somewhere that people will care about me, and I could lead a normal life? Forget what you’ve done to me?” I asked, a note of desperation in my voice.
“Andrew, you are no longer one of them! You are far more superior now! Better than them! What will you do when you can no longer control the bloodlust? Wear sunglasses and hope no one notices you staring longingly at their neck... at the pulse beating just beneath the surface... Or what if you actually kill someone? Not willingly but because you’ve lost control, what then? What if it all comes back to you? They’ll find you! They’ll crucify you! And they’ll know about us! That cannot happen! If you even get that idea into your head you’ll become a liability and I cannot be held responsible for what happens!” Grenshaw now stood next to me.
I turned my head from the window and looked him in the eye. There was a pleading note to the sly glint that seemed ever present. I looked back out of the window, sighed, and made my decision.
“What do I have to do?”
Andrew Carralak
Andrew Carralak

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Post by Andrew Carralak Sun Apr 17, 2011 9:14 am

again, a part that i'm not too sure whether people will like or not... i'm, personally, not sure on the ending to it, but really it's the only way i could find of ending this part, in order to begin the next part the way i want... opinions much appreciated and gravely wanted... so yeah...

Part 3Friday night, the town was abuzz with students out celebrating the fact that it was the end of the week. Groups of girls walked through the streets wearing little and laughing much. Gangs of boys wandered around, some drunk, some well on the way, catcalling and jeering at the girls as they wondered from club to club.
I watched from the shadows of the backstreets. I could feel the hunger inside me. Grenshaw wasn’t far away, also watching, but clearly being far more reserved about the hunger than I was. I kept feeling that wrongness in my mouth as I lost control. The fangs growing. I knew if I looked in a mirror my eyes would be black pits... black, hungry pits...
Three girls wandered near to our hiding place. As they were passing, Grenshaw stepped out in front of them and stopped them in their tracks. One of them squealed at this man who had appeared as if from nowhere.
“Good evening ladies, I was wondering if you could, perhaps, help my friend and I,” he said, waving at me to come out of the shadows.
I stepped out and tried my hardest to hold the hunger in check. I smiled at the closest of the girls... she couldn’t have been more than 18... she smiled nervously back at me.
“What do we have to do?” one of the girls asked Grenshaw.
“Well, you see, my friend here and I have been looking for a very specific club. It was recommended to us, but we don’t seem to know where it is. Perhaps, you could take us there?” Grenshaw asked.
The same girl responded, not as drunk as I’d originally though.
“Depends... which club?”
“Tru, or Two, or something like that... was that it?” he said, turning to me for a response.
All I could do was nod. I could hear each of the girls’ pulses and I knew if I spoke I would lose my concentration and fall on the girls... tear them apart to get at the blood that pumped through their veins...
“Oh yeah... I know where that is... it’s pretty far...” The girl responded, unsure whether to trust us.
Grenshaw smiled at her, “Well, like I said, I’ve heard it’s one of the best clubs in the area... and of course, we would pay entry for all three of you if you could just take us there,”
The two girls who had yet to speak clearly liked that offer, however, the talking girl still didn’t seem sure.
“Oh come on, Jess, what harm could it do? If they were going attack us, they would’ve done it by now.” The girl I’d smiled at pleaded.
“But what about the others? We promised we’d meet them...” Jess replied.
“Well how about, you meet them, and then meet us at Tru?” the third girl suggested.
Jess still didn’t like the idea but finally nodded when she looked at both of her friends eager faces.
“Ok, I’ll see you there,” she said before waving and continuing down the street.
“Excellent!” Grenshaw clapped his hands together, “Lead the way, ladies,”
The girls passed us into the shadows of the backstreet, just as Grenshaw had planned. We had no intentions of going to that club... we just needed the girls in the dark... Grenshaw struck fist, going up behind the third girl and knocking her out with a swing of the metal rod he’d hidden up his sleeve. The other girl just had time to turn around and look shocked before I had knocked her out with a similar metal rod. She fell to the floor unconscious.
Grenshaw looked at me and smiled, his eyes shining black.
“And now, we dine!”
I felt the hunger push forward... and I let it take control...
Andrew Carralak
Andrew Carralak

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Post by Andrew Carralak Sun Apr 17, 2011 9:41 am

Part 4
I’d like to tell you that when I let the hunger in, I completely lost control, so I couldn’t do anything to stop myself from bleeding that girl dry... but it would be a lie...
As I looked down at that girl, lying on the floor, I could feel the hunger within me... but there was more than the hunger... I wanted to drink that girl’s life fluid! I wanted to savour it on my tongue.
You think me a monster. I can see it in your eyes, but tell me, and don’t you dare look away, that you have never felt that same feeling. That inner longing for something more... something violent, despicable, and yet... beautiful... I felt it then... and I wanted more!
Ironically, it was Grenshaw that pulled me away from chasing after all those other students on the street that night. He saw the hunger... the need for what it was, and pulled me back... that son of a bitch... crazy son of a bitch... he was a good friend in the time I knew him... others would say he was the reason I became what I am, but I say he tried to stop it.
Sometimes, I wish he was still here. Then, maybe I wouldn’t have caused so much havoc... so much pain...
I apologise, once again, I find myself rambling. You’ll have to excuse me, I sometimes lose sight of what I’m talking about... now, where was I?
Ah yes, my first feed... well... you’ve heard about that... but there was always an aftermath... and a terrible price we had to pay...
Andrew Carralak
Andrew Carralak

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Post by Andrew Carralak Sun Apr 17, 2011 12:09 pm

I'm on like a writing spree! i thought i might make Grenshaw seem at least a little bit more human... and then return to the nice little superiority complex ridden vampire that he kind of is... and i also find myself wondering how Andrew got so turned around... i think he actually has a conscience... ah well... i'm sure i'll find some way to drive it out of him Twisted Evil but anyway... yeah... part 5...

Part 5
I awoke with a start, the image of that girl’s face still burning in my mind.
“The first time is always the hardest. It gets easier though. You learn to control both the hunger and the want.” Grenshaw’s voice pierced through the image and brought me into the reality of his apartment.
“What if it doesn’t? Five days... it’s been five days and every time I close my eyes, she’s there! Like a ghost, haunting me.” I said to him. I could feel the prickly heat of fresh tears building up behind my eyes.
“It will. You just have to let go of your humanity. It was difficult for me as well. It’s difficult for all of us.”
He gave me a sad smile, before rising from the seat next to the bed I had slept in. Before he left I stopped him.
“Why did you choose me? Why me? There are hundreds more people in this town so why me?” I asked him, I needed some reassurance that he chose me for a reason... that he didn’t just pick me from a lucky dip.
“I have no easy answer for you, Andrew. In short, I liked the look of you. I am truly sorry for pulling you in to this life, but we need every vampire we can get, and you looked promising, to me, at least.” He answered.
“Who is this we? Why do you need more vampires? Every answer you give just leads me to more questions!” I said, the tears that had been building behind my eyes finally falling down my face, but they were no longer just for the girl...
Grenshaw turned back into the room and sat back into the seat he had vacated. He looked down into his cupped hands, deciding on what to tell me, before looking up and into my eyes.
“A reckoning is coming, a judgement on mankind. A man, a great man, has risen from our ranks and he has plans... we shall be his right arm and will strike down humanity, paving the way for our race! The master race!” he clenched his own right hand into a fist as he spoke, and a fire had entered his eyes... the fire of fanaticism.
“But who is he?” I asked, slightly terrified at the look in his eyes.
“His name is William Herrick. He is the King of the Vampires, and he is the one who has decided that the time of man is over! Now get some rest, I have a great deal more to tell you and teach you, but first we must make sure you’ve fully recovered. And please, trust me. I know you may not accept what it is I have done to you, but you’ll thank me before the end.” Grenshaw smiled at me, and rose once again and turned to the door.
This time I let him go. I knew he had said all he was going to say for the moment. I lay back down on the bed and fell into a sleep... a dark sleep filled with black eyes, and the face of a murdered girl...
Andrew Carralak
Andrew Carralak

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Post by Andrew Carralak Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:54 am

I don't think this is as good as the other parts, but i needed to sort of set the scene for the next part and also show that time has passed since the last part. i'm pretty sure people will guess what's coming next...


Part 6
“Andrew?” Grenshaw’s voice broke through the thin veil of sleep that enveloped me.
“Grenshaw... what time is it?” I asked, fuzzy from the sleep.
“It’s almost 6:30. We have somewhere to be...”
“What? But we fed yesterday...”
It was two months since I had woken in that alley, my life turned upside down. Two months of being taught the ins and outs of being a vampire. Two months of hell, with the faces of all those we had fed upon keeping me awake...
Grenshaw thought that I had finally lost that human concept of a conscience. In reality, I’d just learnt not to wake up crying out the names of the dead... he didn’t know I kept their wallets... the faces and names held within adding to the terror of my dreams... but he didn’t have to know. I needed him... and I was starting to see him as something of a friend. I still believed there was more to learn. And there was the man he had spoken of, Herrick. Men with vision, which was what this man sounded like, could either be great creators... or great destroyers, and I wanted to know what Herrick was. So I hid my true feelings, and did as Grenshaw said.
“This isn’t to feed... this is something different, something special. I think you’ll enjoy it.” Grenshaw smiled at me as I pulled a coat over the clothes I had slept in.
“What is it? Not another museum trip to look at dead vampires... I can hardly learn something from the dead.” I asked.
“No, no, no... but do you know what time of the month it is?” Grenshaw was still smiling at me, the familiar fire burning in his eyes.
“The 29th?” I replied, not understanding the importance.
“The moon, Andrew, the moon! Tonight it is full, and there is a very special event coming to the town. Now get ready, we’re leaving in ten minutes. And bring your wallet.”
Grenshaw turned and left the room, leaving me confused and tired, but, needless to say, I did as he commanded...
Andrew Carralak
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Post by Andrew Carralak Wed Apr 20, 2011 12:50 pm

I know people who are reading this kind of expected a cage fight but... well i had to get all of the interaction in this part down and by the end of it, i thought it was too long to include the cage fight as well... but never fear because as you should all know by now, i never fail to deliver *eyes flash black*

Part 7
It took us nearly an hour to reach the place Grenshaw was taking me. It was just what looked to be an empty warehouse on the outskirts of Birmingham. As we pulled up to the entrance, I noticed two heavily built figures lurking in the shadows.
We stopped and Grenshaw turned to me.
“Well, here we are. I really think you’re going to enjoy this. I certainly did, my first time,” he smiled at me, and then climbed out of the car.
I followed him out of the car, and up to a double door leading into the interior of the warehouse.
As we entered, I was blinded momentarily by the bright fluorescents that hung from the high ceiling above. Once my eyes had adjusted, I took in the massive space we were stood in.
We were stood at the top of a series of benches. The benches were packed full of people, hundreds of them, all waiting expectantly for... something. My gaze then came to the floor of the massive room. It was several metres below us, and right in the centre of it stood a massive metal cage with a single small door leading into it, and barbed wire entwining the metal bars.
As we stepped further into the room, I began to feel the atmosphere around us. There was a palpable sense of impatience, but beneath that there was the feeling of restrained violence, just waiting to burst forth and cause the rich, red blood of everyone around us to flow freely down those benches and pool in the centre... oh to swim in that pool, to drink from it... to feel it flow over my face and past my lips...
I shook my head and cleared the image from my mind.
“Grenshaw, who are all these people?” I asked, trying to keep my mind from the hunger.
“These are our kindred, Andrew. It’s rare to have an event such as this come to town. They were outlawed, you see. Some vampires began to question the ethics behind them... honestly, the ethics? Hah! We are beyond ethics now, unless it concerns actions against our own kind.” Grenshaw replied, he seemed to be looking for someone amongst the crowd.
I hadn’t realised the people were vampires, Grenshaw still hadn’t explained how I could tell them apart from humans.
“What event?” I asked, but before I could get a response, another voice boomed out over the sound of the crowd of vampires beneath us.
“Phillip Grenshaw! You old hound! I thought you’d given up on us after that last loss of yours!” a man was walking around the edge of the room to get to us. He wore a long purple leather coat, and had short blond hair pulled up into spikes.
“Eric, you son of a bitch! I heard that some of your prize dogs had escaped and mauled you.” Grenshaw laughed.
Eric reached us and embraced Grenshaw. They released each other and broke into conversation.
“Not likely. You know how much I like to keep them on a tight leash! You still owe me a beer from that last match. I thought you’d stopped coming so you didn’t have to follow up,” Eric smiled, and then seemed to realise I was stood next to Grenshaw, “Well, well, well... I see you’ve brought fresh blood, pardon the pun! So, who might you be?”
“Andrew Carralak.” I said, holding out my hand to shake his. Instead, he pulled me into a bear hug, like he had Grenshaw.
“Any friend of Phil’s is a friend of mine, so screw the formalities!” He almost shouted, after releasing me.
“Well... Thank you...” I said, not sure what to say.
Eric turned back to Grenshaw again.
“So, anyway, how’ve you been? We missed you last year in London...” Eric said.
“Yes, it was a requirement that I move. William’s been keeping us all very busy. Have you spoken to him recently? Or been near Bristol for that matter?” Grenshaw replied.
“Can’t say we have. Wales is next up! Three more months here and then we’re off! I’ve heard a lot of stuff when we’ve been on the road though... Will’s preparing for something, isn’t he?” Eric was suddenly very serious.
“All I can tell you is that something is about to happen... but let’s leave it at that... besides,” Grenshaw checked his watch, “Isn’t it time you were making the announcements? The moon’s almost up!”
“S.hit! You’ll excuse me! I’ll find you afterwards for that drink, what d’ya say?” Eric grinned.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, old friend,” Grenshaw smiled back.
We turned away and started picking our way down to the benches closest to the cage. We managed to find a couple of spare seats and sat down, waiting for whatever was supposed to happen.
I glanced up at Eric; he had started talking to another group of vampires near to the top of the benches.
“Eric and I go way back. We used to travel the country with these shows. William used to run some of them as well... but I knew him long before I started doing the cage fights,” Grenshaw spoke to me, without taking his gaze from the cage.
I looked at him and saw something in his eyes... nostalgia, maybe...
“Do you mean that Herrick person you mentioned?” I asked him.
“Yes, this was before he was in the position he is at the moment, but those are other stories for another day. Now, this will probably be one of the last lessons I have to teach you, Andrew. Are you listening?” Grenshaw tilted his head to look at me.
“Yes, go ahead,”
Grenshaw cleared his throat before continuing.
“First, consider this: all those stories you were told as a child involving supernatural creatures, about monsters and demons... well, now you know one of them exists... vampires,” he said, seeing a look of confusion in my eyes, “now, if vampires exist, what else could exist? What other dark creatures from the depths of shadow?”
He paused a moment to let me think, and then started again...
“You saw how Eric and I greeted each other... think back to that as well... I’m not going to give you a direct answer here... I want you to figure it out for yourself...” Grenshaw gave me a smile and waited.
“Well, he called you an old hound... and you called him a son of a bitch... I don’t... wait you said ‘prize dogs’... is this a cage for dog fighting?” I asked, a slight note of disgust in my voice.
“Not quite... keep going though...” Grenshaw prompted.
“Full moon... you keep coming back to the full moon... and supernatural... monsters...” I broke off, realisation finally hitting me.
Grenshaw saw this and sat back, pleased.
“Well done! Now, let’s sit back and enjoy the show... this will be a night to remember,” Grenshaw grinned, and his eyes flashed black.
And it certainly was a night to remember... much as I may wish to have forgotten it... and all the pain and trouble it would bring later on...


Last edited by Andrew Carralak on Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:23 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by kira Wed Apr 20, 2011 1:29 pm

yeah its good but you should have one human one werewolf fight and the only heartbeat he can hear is the humans and then you know the vampires when you bump into them because they don't have a heartbeat tada idea but yeah i like it *thumbs up*
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Post by kira Wed Apr 20, 2011 1:35 pm

you need to change a bit sorry

"Isn't it time you were making the announcements? The moon’s almost up!”
“\"you are live on channel 4, please do not swear\"! You’ll excuse me! I’ll find you afterwards for that drink, what d’ya say?” Eric grinned.

tut tut tut you forgot the dot in s.hit
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Post by Andrew Carralak Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:22 pm

kirawalshii-pure vampire wrote:yeah its good but you should have one human one werewolf fight and the only heartbeat he can hear is the humans and then you know the vampires when you bump into them because they don't have a heartbeat tada idea but yeah i like it *thumbs up*

yeah... except that vampires can't actually tell the difference between other vampires and humans... have you seen the little prequel video for Daisy and Ivan on the bbc BH site? on it, Daisy walks back into a bar area and thinks that an Old One is a little human girl, until Ivan comes in and tells her that the girl's actually a vampire...

basically this is another one of BH's failings in properly explaining something
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Post by kira Thu Apr 21, 2011 1:37 am

Andrew Carralak wrote:
kirawalshii-pure vampire wrote:yeah its good but you should have one human one werewolf fight and the only heartbeat he can hear is the humans and then you know the vampires when you bump into them because they don't have a heartbeat tada idea but yeah i like it *thumbs up*

yeah... except that vampires can't actually tell the difference between other vampires and humans... have you seen the little prequel video for Daisy and Ivan on the bbc BH site? on it, Daisy walks back into a bar area and thinks that an Old One is a little human girl, until Ivan comes in and tells her that the girl's actually a vampire...

basically this is another one of BH's failings in properly explaining something

yeh but herrick was like i cant hear the dark ones heart beat and i cant hear yours or something and he could only hear nancys so and when daisy was talking she was saying how she was new to it or something
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Post by Andrew Carralak Thu Apr 21, 2011 1:40 am

kirawalshii-pure vampire wrote:
Andrew Carralak wrote:
kirawalshii-pure vampire wrote:yeah its good but you should have one human one werewolf fight and the only heartbeat he can hear is the humans and then you know the vampires when you bump into them because they don't have a heartbeat tada idea but yeah i like it *thumbs up*

yeah... except that vampires can't actually tell the difference between other vampires and humans... have you seen the little prequel video for Daisy and Ivan on the bbc BH site? on it, Daisy walks back into a bar area and thinks that an Old One is a little human girl, until Ivan comes in and tells her that the girl's actually a vampire...

basically this is another one of BH's failings in properly explaining something

yeh but herrick was like i cant hear the dark ones heart beat and i cant hear yours or something and he could only hear nancys so and when daisy was talking she was saying how she was new to it or something

which is kinda the same as what i've done here...
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Post by kira Thu Apr 21, 2011 8:23 am

Andrew Carralak wrote:
kirawalshii-pure vampire wrote:
Andrew Carralak wrote:
kirawalshii-pure vampire wrote:yeah its good but you should have one human one werewolf fight and the only heartbeat he can hear is the humans and then you know the vampires when you bump into them because they don't have a heartbeat tada idea but yeah i like it *thumbs up*

yeah... except that vampires can't actually tell the difference between other vampires and humans... have you seen the little prequel video for Daisy and Ivan on the bbc BH site? on it, Daisy walks back into a bar area and thinks that an Old One is a little human girl, until Ivan comes in and tells her that the girl's actually a vampire...

basically this is another one of BH's failings in properly explaining something

yeh but herrick was like i cant hear the dark ones heart beat and i cant hear yours or something and he could only hear nancys so and when daisy was talking she was saying how she was new to it or something

which is kinda the same as what i've done here...

i know you were doing that my friend learn the skill and flourish it the life of knowing Very Happy
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Post by Andrew Carralak Fri Apr 22, 2011 11:50 am

Hunger pains and full moons... fun stuff...

Part 8
“Good evenin’, ladies and gents, and what a night we’ve got planned for you!” Eric’s voice once more boomed over the sound of the rest of the vampires, “It’s almost time for main event, so shall we get started?!”
A cheer rose from the crowd and Eric smiled before continuing.
“Well then, let me first give to you our latest pet! Found this very day wandering around the supermarket, lost and alone, ownerless, if you can believe it! Poor thing doesn’t know what’s going on, bless her... but we’ve got the incentive right here for her!” Eric held up a dog biscuit for the crowd to see, “and we all know how much dogs like their biscuits. So without further ado, I give you... Pauline Roberts!” Eric cried out before stepping back from the doorway to reveal a woman with a filthy sack over her head being dragged into the room and down to the cage.
As they pulled her along, they flung the sack from her head to reveal a mess of long brown hair over eyes that showed nothing but sheer terror.
“Please! Please don’t do this! I’ll do whatever you want, just please... don’t put me in there!” She pleaded with the crowd.
She passed me and I saw her brief pleading look. There was a smell hanging around her, but before I could place it, she was thrown through the door of the cage. When the door of the cage was once again shut and bolted, she crawled into a corner and curled into a ball.
“And now, the combatant!” Eric shouted out, “Found not far from our dear canine friend, supposedly the lover of our pet... obviously must have a fetish for bestiality... disgusting isn’t it?! But maybe we can see if he’ll learn from his mistakes... or not! I give you... Gary Roberts!”
A man was pulled from the door, much in the same way as Pauline, however, once the sack was pulled from his head, he didn’t plead... he didn’t beg... he just seemed... resigned... like a man on death row...
I watched as he, too, was pushed into the cage. As he moved over to Pauline and held her close to him, as vampires above us began holding up signs counting down to the full moon. I saw them exchange quiet words... one last declaration of love before one of their lives ended in a river of blood...
I could hear the human’s heartbeat... strong... thud-thud... thud-thud... like a hammer on my nerves... I wanted to bleed him dry...
“Andrew?” Grenshaw’s voice cut through my hunger, “Are you alright?”
“Yes,” I said, trying to hide my hunger, and disgust at the vampires around us.
They had seen what Pauline and Gary were doing and had taken to jeering at them and throwing food into the cage.
Pauline’s back suddenly arched, and she cried out in pain.
“Oh dear... must be Pauline’s time of the month, eh Gary?” Eric mocked from the top of the room, as the other vampires laughed and applauded.
Gary just held tight to Pauline and didn’t respond at all to Eric. Pauline kept on crying out, and that’s when the change truly arrived.
Her eyes turned a dirty yellow, her teeth grew to sharp points, and her fingers became claws... but still she was there... she knew everything that was happening... I could see it in her eyes... I could see the knowledge that she was going to tear her husband apart in those yellow depths...
I’d like to tell you that I turned away... that I refused to watch the debauchery that was the cage fights... but I can’t... you know how large a part of my life those fights became... sort of like drinking too much... whilst you’re doing it, you have the time of your life, but later on, when you can remember every detail, you wished it had never happened... except that you still wanted more!
I saw every moment of that glorious and horrific fight... saw Pauline finish the transformation and then tear her husband limb from limb... felt the blood splash across my face as she ripped his head from his shoulders... I remember the taste of his life fluid as I wiped it on my fingers and then licked them clean... and then watched with fascination as Pauline devoured what was left of her husband...
I’d like to tell you that it was the worst moment of my life... but a part of me still believes that it was the best...
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Post by Andrew Carralak Sun Apr 24, 2011 3:32 am

this is very much a filler chapter... and as such is rather short... i just thought i'd do another little monologue chapter (i'm calling them chapters now, i'll change them at some point) but i did need something to go between 8 and 10... i'm planning on bringing Herrick in in 10 but i want it to be set around the time that he stabs Mitchell but that's a pretty big leap in time... and i wanted to have a little something to say what happened after the cage fight... so yeah... here we are...

Part 9
In a perfect world, there would have been someone there to save that man from his wife... in a perfect world, vampires and werewolves would just be the dark stories your told to send a shiver up your spine... in a perfect world, I would have left that warehouse feeling sickened by what I saw...
This world is far from perfect, however. After the fight, Grenshaw and I stayed behind so that Grenshaw could catch up with Eric. It felt... surreal... behind us, a werewolf sat in a cage, soaked in the blood of her lover... and they were stood there laughing about old times as if they’d just met in a cafe...
I couldn’t stop staring at the creature, though. There was something darkly beautiful about her. Later on, Grenshaw asked me why I kept staring, I lied and said it was the blood, I was feeling hungry...
In truth, I was hungry... I had tasted the vicious combat of the cages... and I wanted more...
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Post by Andrew Carralak Thu Apr 28, 2011 11:48 am

been a few days since my last posting but i wanted to try and get Herrick's character down as well as i could... don't know how many people are following this but i really need input on whether or not i've managed to capture him...


Part 10
“You have got to be joking...” I laughed, staring out of the window of Grenshaw’s car at the building in front of us.
“Not at all, it provides the perfect cover and a safe place for new recruits to be prepared,” Grenshaw responded, “and if I were you, I’d keep comments like that to yourself. Show a little respect, especially when speaking to Herrick. How you act is as much a reflection of me as it is of you...”
“That’s a bit ironic since we don’t have reflections,” I answered, before stepping out of the car.
Almost 4 weeks had passed since the cage fight, and I had, at least to some degree, come to terms with what I was. I no longer had the nightmares every time I fed, and Grenshaw had let me go out and feed whenever I wanted, within reason of course.
He had also finally decided it was time to come face to face with the reason he had recruited me. After a long car journey, we had finally arrived in Bristol, or more specifically, a funeral parlour in Bristol.
“I was just saying, it’s a bit... predictable, isn’t it?” I asked Grenshaw.
“Well we haven’t been found out yet. Although, rumour is that Herrick has eyes and ears everywhere. And, of course, vampires protect their own. Now, come on, he should be expecting us.” Grenshaw led the way into the large building.
We entered a large lobby, taken up by old fashioned wooden furniture, and brochures to do with funeral services. In the corner, there was an old woman sat reading one of the brochures, whilst a man sat behind the reception desk, wearing the suit often associated with undertakers.
The man behind the desk looked up at us, rose from his seat and came to stand before us.
“Mr Grenshaw, Herrick said you were coming.” He said, shaking Grenshaw’s hand.
“Seth, this is Andrew Carralak, my recruit,” Grenshaw replied, pulling his hand from Seth’s grip.
I nodded at Seth. He just looked at me before turning back to Grenshaw.
“Herrick’s just through there... Nana’ll get you a tea, if you want,” Seth offered, indicating the woman sat in the corner.
“Not tea, but perhaps something a little stronger?” Grenshaw asked.
“Like what?” Seth looked confused.
“Blood, perhaps? Herrick mentioned you had a supply here at the parlour.”
“Oh yeah... I’ll go sort some out,” Seth scurried away leaving us to find our own way to Herrick.
Grenshaw took me behind the desk and through a door in the corner. We were in a dark, concrete corridor. Grenshaw started walking down it.
“Seth’s an imbecile, but he’s a good worker. Needs to learn a little something about being subtle though. I have a feeling Herrick may replace him once he begins the revolution.” Grenshaw said as he walked.
“How long have you known Herrick?” I asked.
“Since he was turned. We were both recruited by the same vampire... an Old One,” Grenshaw glanced back at me.
We reached a door; Grenshaw turned the handle and pushed the door open. We both stepped through in a wide, concrete room. In the middle of the room, there was a desk with various pieces of paper spread across its surface. A small man with thinning hair and wearing a suit similar to Seth’s, stood behind the desk, looking down at the papers. He looked up as we entered a toothy grin spread across his face at the sight of Grenshaw.
“Phillip, my old friend, it’s been too long,” He said, coming around the desk and shaking Grenshaw’s hand.
“William, I thought you might like an update on my progress,” Grenshaw smiled back and shook the man’s hand.
“Of course, of course, but please, tell me, how are you? I heard the police had been giving you trouble,”
“Nothing I could not handle on my own,” Grenshaw turned to me, “William, this is my latest recruit, Andrew Carralak, ready and willing to join the revolution,”
“Hello Andrew, Herrick,” the man introduced himself and held out his hand.
I shook it before letting go and walking over to the desk. Herrick and Grenshaw began chatting together.
“How is John, word is you and he haven’t exactly been seeing eye to eye,” Grenshaw said from behind me.
“Yes, terrible business, he’s thrown his lot in with a werewolf, of all things. The world really is going to the dogs,” Herrick laughed.
“It weakens your following, though, have you considered that? If people detect weakness they may question your ability to rule,” Grenshaw remained serious.
“Not at all, I have already taken steps to... eradicate the problem. He’s currently in hospital, fighting for his life, and with his current attempts at returning to humanity, he will not drink blood to help himself. He is his own worst enemy,”
As this was taking place, I was looking down at the desk. A list of what looked like names caught my eye, I picked it up and glanced down it. I didn’t realise the other two had stopped talking until Herrick spoke from right next to me.
“Those we think will be willing to join our cause,” He said, making me jump
“Since when did people have to be willing to be recruited? I sure wasn’t,” I replied.
“You were a special case, it’s far easier for people to acclimatise to what we’ve done to them if they do join of their own free will,” Grenshaw answered.
Herrick plucked the paper from my hand and placed it back on the table.
“We are the future, Andrew, do not forget that. If you don’t join us, then you shall soon be food upon our table. A new future lies ahead, and we will be the harbingers of a new tomorrow,” Herrick grinned once again at me.
“But the humans will fight back... you can’t just expect them to lay down and let us take over.” I didn’t return the grin.
Herrick sighed.
“Which is why I have my soldiers everywhere, all across the world. One swift strike and the world will have no choice but to bow before me... before us as the superior race! We are better than these... humans! We are evolution! This is Darwin at his best! Those who are not strong enough will not survive!” Herrick growled.
“And what about those vampires that would prefer to stay in the shadows?” I asked.
Herrick smiled before answering.
“I know a vampire like you, an idealist, believes we can live safely alongside humans, not feeding. He somehow got it into his head that he wanted to be human. Of course, there is no going back, we are vampires now.”
“And what will you do if this vampire decides to try and stop you?” I persisted.
“I will kill him. Although I doubt I’ll need to. You heard me tell Grenshaw how he was... he’s in hospital, after I drove a stake into him. A pity really... he used to be so much fun to have around... I had big plans for him...” Herrick said, a faint trace of sorrow in his voice, “And if given the choice... if you could, would you go back to being human? Would you become what you were?” he asked me.
I thought about the hunger for blood, that seemed to constantly be just beneath the surface of my mind, the wonders that Grenshaw had shown me of the vampire world... the image of a wolf tearing apart a man in a cage...
Herrick waited for my answer, but all I could do was look down.
“See? We are perfection, Andrew! Do not forget that. These humans are a plague on the earth. I have seen the depravities of the crack houses of London at the end of the 19th century. I have witnessed men tear other men to pieces all in the name of peace. I have wondered the backstreets of this world, and I can tell you: humanity will destroy this world if we do not stop them.” Herrick preached.
I looked up once more, and saw in Herrick’s eyes, the same fire I had seen in Grenshaw’s. I nodded slowly at what he had said.
“And what about blood? We need humanity for that.” I said.
“Some small pockets will be allowed to survive, nothing more than zoo specimens. We’ve already started collecting. Ah, which reminds me, I’ve been forgetting my manners, would either of you like a drink?”
“Seth did say he was going to sort something out. He probably forgot. I don’t know why you keep him around, William,” Grenshaw laughed.
“Because he does have his uses. But that is neither here nor there. Follow me, gentlemen, and I shall show you the future.” Herrick smiled.
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