Re: Last Poster Wins!

by **koolkidpaige** Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:09 pm

Herrick: How do you think this ends?
George: I don't know. We kiss?

by **Nameless Child** Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:14 pm

Mitchell: I never know with you whether it's Jewish guilt or werewolf guilt.
George: They're pretty much the same thing.

by **koolkidpaige** Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:21 pm

Annie: I'm a ghost actually.
Seth: Get out. Can you, like, move things about and, you know, walk from one room to another?
George: You know, I'm pretty sure everyone can do that.

by **Nameless Child** Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:25 pm

Nina: Hello.
George: I like watching you sleep. I look at you and I think, "She's mine. She's all mine."
Nina: Hm. That's sweet. Creepy and slightly Ted Bundy-esque. But sweet.

by **koolkidpaige** Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:33 pm

George: I had the wolf in me.
Mitchell: So did Nina.

by **Nameless Child** Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:35 pm

Mitchell: Herrick's gone. I'm handling this.
Coroner Quinn: What happened to him?
Mitchell: Politics.

by **koolkidpaige** Wed Dec 21, 2011 7:39 pm

George: Nina has opened my eyes. It's like she's helped me, finally, figure out... I've had an epiphany, Mitchell, a breakthrough. I... am making... ha ha ha... a LIST!
Mitchell: A list?
George: Lists solve everything. You put the thing on the list, you do the thing, and then you tick it off! And in that way, order is achieved, and the world, becomes... a better place.
Mitchell: Are you sure you're okay?

by **Nameless Child** Wed Dec 21, 2011 11:53 pm

Annie: Maybe he's had a blow to the head.
George: I'm sorry?
Annie: Happened to my Nan. She got hit in the head by a radio controlled plane at a county fair. From that moment - obsessed with pygmy goats.
George: There wasn't a single bit of that sentence I understood.

by **koolkidpaige** Wed Dec 21, 2011 11:59 pm

George: Hold on, hold on! We need to set some ground rules here about guests!
Mitchell: Like what?
George: Like... don't kill them!
Mitchell: Ugh. Such a bourgeois concept.

by **Nameless Child** Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:09 am

George: We have to put a stop to this. Doesn't he understand, these people are British? You're not allowed to talk to your neighbours until you've nodded at them for fifteen years.

by **koolkidpaige** Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:10 am

Mitchell: George? Get your lead.

by **Nameless Child** Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:18 am

George: Do you know the difference between you and Tully?
Mitchell: Mmm, I don't know, I don't have to shave my palms?
George: I, I think that's actually racist.

by **koolkidpaige** Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:19 am

Owen: What are you talking about?
Janey: I'm seeing things! It's Annie, she's here. Owen, she was going to chop my feet off!
Annie: Okay, that is totally out of context.

by **Nameless Child** Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:30 am

Seth: Did you just hit me with a chair?!
Annie: Yes! Sorry!
Seth: What is wrong with you people? That totally, fucking hurt!

by **koolkidpaige** Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:36 am

Mitchell: Do you people have any FUCKING idea who I am!? My name is John Mitchell, and I've killed more people than you've met!

by **Nameless Child** Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:40 am

Mark: If you're non-believers that's fine, we can just sit together for a few moments of quiet contemplation.
George: Contemplation about what?
Mark: The fiery oblivion that awaits all atheists?
George: Oh, it's not that. I'm Jewish and... [gestures to Mitchell] he's complicated.
Mark: Jewish people pray, I've seen Yentl.
George: You're very sarcastic for a vicar.
Mark: Yeah, so people tell me, and I feel very bad about it, then I forgive myself.

by **koolkidpaige** Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:45 am

Owen: I need you to keep me safe.
Policeman: Okay. Have you been threatened by someone?
Owen: I killed my girlfriend. And now she lives with a werewolf and what I think is a vampire, and they're going to torture me. So I need to find somewhere safe!
Policeman: I see. Well in that case, we're gonna need a different form.

by **Nameless Child** Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:54 am

Cara: Herrick came for me and now I have the blood of the ancestors. Ten thousand years of majesty and glory.
Annie: Well, congratulations on mastering the whole speaking like a TenWombatsAreTricky thing.

by **koolkidpaige** Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:57 am

Herrick: You alright there, Nana?
Nana: Oh, yes.
Herrick: Had an affair with Hitler, didn't you dear?

by **Nameless Child** Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:05 am

Herrick: So, a werewolf, a ghost and a vampire decide to live like humans do. They gets jobs, a house and a TV license. They make friends they will lie to, take lovers they will infect; In fact, the only part of humanity they successfully adopt is its ability to deceive and destroy. All in all I'd say your little scheme has been something of a failure.

by **koolkidpaige** Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:15 am

(My favourite quote ever. I can say it word-for-word)

Annie: There's a question you haven't asked yourself yet. If I exist, what else does? You think you're the big bad wolf? You should see George on a full moon. You think you're a cold-blooded murderer? Mitchell was killing 80 years before you were even born. Don't you get it yet? I'm just the tip of the iceberg; I'm good cop. Look at you, so pleased with your grubby little murder, fact is when it comes to pure naked evil, you're an amateur. I want you to know you wandered off the path. This is where the wild things are, and we have got your scent now. We can find you at the edge of the earth, and create unimaginable tortures... and now I'm gonna tell you the very worst thing in the world, something only the dead know...
[Whispers in Owen's ear]
Owen: That's not true!
Annie: I saw it. My advice to you: find a safe place, with locks, and bad dogs... and never ever turn out the light.

by **Nameless Child** Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:29 am

(J'adore ca)

Nina: I'm pretty sure 'werewolf' didn't come up when I spoke to my careers teacher, but life is full of disappointments.

by **koolkidpaige** Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:41 am

Lucy: If you see the guy I declared dead walking round... kill him!

by **Nameless Child** Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:45 am

George: You are being careful aren't you?
Annie: Thanks, but I think I'm a bit old and dead for the contraception conversation.

by **koolkidpaige** Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:47 am

Look. My first boyfriend took naked photos of me while I was asleep and put them on the internet. My second boyfriend got drunk and asked my mum for a threesome. My third boyfriend pushed me down the stairs and killed me. So I think a vampire's pretty much... marriage material, given my track record.

by **Nameless Child** Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:49 am

(I love this quote)

Ivan: What, are you imagining some kind of peaceful co-existence? It'd be chaos! Worldwide panic. Good news for religion, mind, especially Christianity. There'd be standing room only in the churches all of a sudden. And as soon as they knew about vampires, they'd know about werewolves, they'd know about ghosts. They'd be next. And when humanity had finally finished with us, it would turn on itself. First the other religions, massively in the minority now, then the homosexuals, the disabled... Do you want to know what the future looks like? Enforced worship in churches a mile high, and every country surrounded by a coral reef of bones. But fuck it, maybe it should happen - there's nothing on TV at the moment.

by **koolkidpaige** Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:55 am

Lauren: I saw your furry friend. I was actually going to feed from him. Can you imagine? Probably have to get jabs or something.

by **Nameless Child** Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:57 am

Annie: Strangely, being invisible makes purchasing pyramid teabags a touch awkward.

by **koolkidpaige** Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:07 am

Gilbert: Thank god you met me. It's time you had some fun, girl.
Annie: I thought fun was a bourgeois concept.
Gilbert: No no, I'm talking about Gilbert fun!

by **Nameless Child** Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:15 am

George: Okay, you win ten million pounds; what do you do?
Annie: Buy Colin Firth.

by **koolkidpaige** Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:25 am

Owen: What was it?
George: What... oh! It was a pigeon.
Owen: A pigeon?
George: Must've left a window open.
Owen: Well have you got rid of it?
George: I killed it.
Mitchell: You killed it?
George: [Nods] With a shoe.

by **other annie** Thu Dec 22, 2011 3:26 am

Not that I'm complaining- but wen did this become the epic quotes page??

by **koolkidpaige** Thu Dec 22, 2011 7:28 am

When we ran out of pokemon, of course! When else?

Mitchell: We're valued members of the local community.
George: Yes, until we inadvertently kill one of them.

by **Nameless Child** Sun Dec 25, 2011 5:18 am

Mitchell: We've got work and then it's his time of the month.
Annie: Oh god, I used to hate that. Curl up on the sofa, Pride and Prejudice, if anyone said anything I'd bite their head off. Oh, that... that is actually a real possibility for you, isn't it... The, the biting...

by **koolkidpaige** Sun Dec 25, 2011 5:59 am

Gilbert: Hang the DJ! That tune came out in 1990! [Annie looks at him] Sorry.
Annie: Who are you, the 80s police?
Gilbert: No no no. Just someone with taste.

by **Nameless Child** Sun Dec 25, 2011 6:06 am

Lauren: Before I died I had this one odd last thought, and now I'm going to make it yours. You know all the things you were scared of as a kid, all the monsters under the bed? They're all real. [She blackens her eyes, George doesn't react] Okay, I'm new to this but aren't you supposed to weep or scream or wee yourself?

by **koolkidpaige** Sun Dec 25, 2011 6:18 am

George: You are not meeting my friends.
Tully: I am house trained, you know.

by **Nameless Child** Sun Dec 25, 2011 6:26 am

George: Look, don't try to understand George.
Annie: George? George who?
George: ...Me!

by **koolkidpaige** Sun Dec 25, 2011 6:47 am

George: [Sees graffiti on mirror] What? Mr Sands suck cocks? For God's sake! ... It's Mr Sands SUCKS cocks, singular, not plural, you... gah, have I taught you nothing?
[Brings out a marker pen to correct it]
[Headteacher walks in]
Headteacher: Are you vandalising that mirror?
George: Ahh... [Finishes writing] Nope. No, I'm not.
Headteacher: I saw you writing.
George: Yeah. Yeah, I think it's best if I just... go...

by **Nameless Child** Sun Dec 25, 2011 6:53 am

Mitchell: So, you've just arrived at Hogwarts, which house do they put you in?
George: I'd like to say Gryffindor, but they're supposed to be brave. What's the other one? Ravenclaw, does that have a characteristic?
Mitchell: I think they're brainy. You could be in Ravenclaw.
Annie: I quite fancy Hufflepuff actually. I've always thought in Hufflepuff they just spend the day making stuff with safety scissors and glitter.
George: What about you?
Mitchell: I think that they'd say, 'it's probably best if you just stay in the canteen for the next five years'.
Annie: Does anyone ever choose Slytherin?
George: No, because that would be like saying 'I'm a sociopath.'

by **koolkidpaige** Sun Dec 25, 2011 7:04 am

Girl: I still don't understand why you do it.
Mitchell: It's complicated.
Girl: Take your time. I'm tied to a bookshelf.

by **Nameless Child** Sun Dec 25, 2011 7:07 am

Tully: The Earth my pillow, my canopy the stars.
Annie: Oh, I'd like to see George living like that. He had a panic attack in the Eden Project.

by **koolkidpaige** Sun Dec 25, 2011 7:08 am

Lia: You're gonna be killed by a werewolf. A wolf-shaped bullet. Bang!

by **Nameless Child** Sun Dec 25, 2011 7:18 am

Annie: Hey, there's a werewolf called Nina in Buffy!
Nina: I've never seen it.
Annie: No well, I stopped watching it once, you know, I started living it!

by **koolkidpaige** Sun Dec 25, 2011 8:00 am

Molly: Do you like cats?
George: Yeah. Couldn't eat a whole one, though.
George: [to himself] Who am I kidding? Course I could!

by **Nameless Child** Sun Dec 25, 2011 8:05 am

George: Home sweet home.
Adam: It's a shit hole.
George: Yes, but it's our shit hole so show some manners.

by **koolkidpaige** Sun Dec 25, 2011 10:31 am

George: Who keeps their rotten tomatoes? Who looks in their salad cooler, sees their tomatoes are on the turn and thinks 'oh no, no I'll hang on to those in case some paedos move in opposite'?

by **Nameless Child** Wed Dec 28, 2011 7:02 am

George: I'm not eating raw meat like an animal because a ghost is ovulating!

by **koolkidpaige** Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:31 am

Lucy: Puncture marks in the neck, body exsanguinated - drained of blood. Now, what could that be? Ladies and gentlemen, somewhere in Bristol is a gay vampire.
Nurse: Count Spectacular.
Lucy: Mince of Darkness.
Policeman: I bet he'd like to see *my* full moon.
[Awkward silence]

by **Nameless Child** Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:35 am

Mitchell: We can't just dip our toe! We have to dive into the churn of humanity. Laugh with them, listen to their stories.
George: About Vin Diesel?
Mitchell: A... remarkable man, I'm starting to realise...

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